The New Statesman contains an article by writer A. N. Wilson titled, “Why I Believe Again.”
Wilson describes his “conversion” experience from Christian faith to atheism 20 years ago as a Dasmascus Road type of conversion. His re-conversion to Christianity was a more gradual process. His story is an interesting and enlightening one. He initially found in atheism the certainty which he desired but lacked in his Chrisitan experience. It was not too long, however, that the doubts which had plagued him as a Christian, clouded his complete confidence in atheism.
My doubting temperament, however, made me a very unconvincing atheist. And unconvinced…
This creed that religion can be despatched in a few brisk arguments (outlined in David Hume’s masterly Dialogues Concerning Natural Religion) and then laughed off kept me going for some years. When I found myself wavering, I would return to Hume in order to pull myself together, rather as a Catholic having doubts might return to the shrine of a particular saint to sustain them while the springs of faith ran dry.
For Wilson, it was not so much arguments like the cosmological or teleological arguments which caused him to abandon his atheistic confession, but it was what an atheist must give up if he is to be a consistent, confident atheist. It was music, love, language, and morality which provided the foundation for his return to Christianity.
Do materialists really think that language just “evolved”, like finches’ beaks, or have they simply never thought about the matter rationally?… No, the existence of language is one of the many phenomena – of which love and music are the two strongest – which suggest that human beings are very much more than collections of meat. They convince me that we are spiritual beings, and that the religion of the incarnation, asserting that God made humanity in His image, and continually restores humanity in His image, is simply true. As a working blueprint for life, as a template against which to measure experience, it fits…
When I think about atheist friends, including my father, they seem to me like people who have no ear for music, or who have never been in love. It is not that (as they believe) they have rumbled the tremendous fraud of religion – prophets do that in every generation. Rather, these unbelievers are simply missing out on something that is not difficult to grasp. Perhaps it is too obvious to understand; obvious, as lovers feel it was obvious that they should have come together, or obvious as the final resolution of a fugue.
I haven’t mentioned morality, but one thing that finally put the tin hat on any aspirations to be an unbeliever was writing a book about the Wagner family and Nazi Germany, and realising how utterly incoherent were Hitler’s neo-Darwinian ravings, and how potent was the opposition, much of it from Christians; paid for, not with clear intellectual victory, but in blood. Read Pastor Bonhoeffer’s book Ethics, and ask yourself what sort of mad world is created by those who think that ethics are a purely human construct. Think of Bonhoeffer’s serenity before he was hanged, even though he was in love and had everything to look forward to.
I’d recomment reading his entire story.
HT: Cadre Comments