Same-Sex Marriage - Part 4

Filed under: Apologetics — Barry Carey at 3:19 pm on Sunday, February 18, 2007

This is the fourth post in a series summarizing the responses of Greg Koukl to the common objections raised by same-sex couples to opposition to the revision of the institution of marriage. Koukl’s entire article can be found at Townhall.com. The fourth objection raised has to do with the very nature of what marriage is:

As long as people love each other, it shouldn’t matter whether they are the same sex. What’s important in marriage is love.

Is marriage really about love? At face value, this seems to be a reasonable way of reflecting on marriage. However, upon further reflection, it’s clear that love and marriage are not always associated. In fact, the two are often not associated. Throughout history (and even today) many marriages have been arranged. Love may be a part of the relationship later in this case, as a result of marriage, and not as a reason for it.

Further, what is the purpose of the marriage vows? Why say “for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health?” As Koukl points out, vows are meant to sustain the union when love wanes. They keep the marriage intact, not for the sake of love, but for the sake of children. Marriage is not about love. The state requires no proof of love when granting licenses for marriage. Why? Love is not the reason for marriage. Now, hopefully it is found in marriages, but no proof of passion is required to gain a marriage license. Marriage is about something other than love.

Next, another response.

2 Comments »

Comment by Kevin Winters

February 19, 2007 @ 7:51 am

Shouldn’t we rather say that love is is not the reason for all marriages? Even with the fact that not all marriages are entered into because of love, there are those that are entered into for that reason. I would also dispute the claim that the marriage vows are (supposedly) there to “keep the marriage intact, not for the sake of love, but for the sake of children,” for not only do some marriages (many, in fact) not involve children, but also I find those very oaths to be part of love. That, I feel, is the genius of “arranged marriages”: it is not under the illusion that love is a ‘feeling’ that one has or does not have, but it is a commitment, it takes work, it takes devotion (of time, money, energy, patience, etc.). I find the whole argument so far to be rather tenuous just on its premises. Not that I don’t agree on the conclusion, but this isn’t an effective way to argue it.

Comment by Barry Carey

February 19, 2007 @ 9:47 am

Kevin, I understand where you are coming from. Let me say that Greg here is not necessarily presenting a positive argument for traditional marriage. He is rather addressing specific objections raised by those in favor of same-sex marriages against those arguing for traditional marriage. Therefore, it may not come across as a coherent argument. It wasn’t intended that way. The children issue is coming up soon in another post.

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